I Think I Am Going Blind.

Don't anyone freak out, I'm not talking in a literal sense, but blind with desperation. I've lost sight of it all and I feel like I'm just getting deeper and deeper in a black pit of nothingness. I have nothing going for me, I feel worthless, and that I'm not here to make any sort of difference. I'm not thinking suicide, definitely not, just really bummed out.

Shane and I have stopped arguing, which is good. He asks me to stop blogging about how we argue so much, and I know that I should because I respect him, but this is my only out, and it isn't going to stop. I'm sorry.

I applied for a few jobs today. At some grocery stores, and then blockbuster. Cassandra and Jose wonder why I would want to work somewhere that is ran like a piece, but, oh well. I don't want Shane to feel like he has to work his ass off because I did for so long while he was working 3 days a week. I'm hoping something will come up, and if not, I GIVE UP. I had originally decided to not look for another job, after discussing this with Shane, because I'm not a quitter, I don't want to look for another job, get one, and then when fall semester rolls around (it seems far, but in all honesty, it's coming sooner than most think) have to quit. Bot who knows, maybe hopefully something will turn up, and take me on to bigger and better things/places, unlike this dead end job.

I'm going to start being more positive. I have to be, not just for me, but for everyone else, and my health. I'm back to wanting to sleep all the time. I thought the three of us were on a work out schedule, and then...NAHT! It's frustrating, I'm going to work out regardless.


goodnight.
Better Days Lie Ahead