overwhelmed

I am overwhelmed. I have so much BULL SHIT going on everywhere else around me. I am on my 9th day of work without a day off, NO IT IS NOT OVERTIME! It is shitty, but i am trying my hardest to not complain about it, that much. But i am about to freak out on someone.

I am doing a training manual at work. I've been steadily working on it for about 2 weeks now. I feel bad because my manager said that she didn't want it to take a month, but that is what it looks like is going to happen. Part of me says that I am going too far into detail, and then the other part of me KNOWS that i need to go into this much detail because I've trained and I know how lazy people can get at this job. I am thinking that I am almost done. I sent an unfinished rough draft to management so that they could look it over, but not claim the work as their own. It is just getting stressful

The website for the party store is getting out of control. We were eating dinner last night, my roommate and her parents (the owners of the party store) and for some reason everyone kept saying and keeps saying they are waiting on me to be done with my work stuff to do this project. I appreciate the concern. but to be honest, I AM THE ONLY ONE DOING ANYTHING. I have edited well over 150 pictures, which doenst sound like a lot, but it is. the 3 of us have a total of 6GB of pictures left to edit, so needless to say, I CAN NOT DO THEM ALL BY MY DAMN SELF. Stop saying that I have to do them all, stop saying you are waiting on me to finish something when there are people who arent doing anything with the any of it, stop saying things are my fucking fault when other people have NOTHING going on in their life and are too fucking lazy to do anything.

I am sick and FUCKING tired of always having some much god damn shit to do. Tawny is right, I am going to have a fucking melt down. I have dinner with my grandma tonight and I don't want to go any more, I just want to FUCKING SLEEP!!!


i guess i'll update whenever i have time

IN A MILLION YEARS!!!

I have an Idea.

"A flash mob (or flashmob) is a large group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual action for a brief time, then quickly disperse. The term flash mob is generally applied only to gatherings organized via social media or viral emails, rather than those organized by public relations firms or for a publicity stunt."-via wikipedia

I was watching some Improv Everywhere (if you haven't heard of them check it on youtube) and, I've decided that I want to arrange something. But i want it to be original. I was considering invading the local ikea, and doing something that involved the furniture, but then I feel like i would be copying the improv everywhere guys, who did something like that at a russian shop.






I want some ideas for the area, sacramento preferably. and once we come up with something good, we'll arrange the details.

thanks

:]

What am I missing.

I feel like I am missing something. I am going to go into the history of my relationship, because it has been eating at me recently. I graduated high school in June of 2006, right on schedule, and then, as i had told myself all the times prior, I moved out of my dad's (in indiana) and back to my grandparents in CA, by the end of july. I know that I hurt a lot of people in the process, and I know that it was a selfish move. But after being so selfless, what's a boy to do? I have to do something for myself. Anyways. I moved out here en of july, and started hanging out with Mike, Anena, Austin and Lanie, we were always together, and were always doing things. It was a lot of fun, I miss them. One night, it was just Anena and I, we went to starbucks to meet alex connors, and Shane was there. Shane and I had originally met on myspace, thanks to a dear friend named Lena; but Shane was there, it was awkward, and that was about it, no other conversation than me introducing myself, and him recognizing me from myspace. Then the next weekend, maybe 2, there was a party at Cassidy's, a friend of everyone else's, and I went along, I needed to meet more people, get out more, and Shane was there. Shane and I had started to text, a lot. I was with mike and Austin one night, and we stayed at Mikes house, and after walking about 2 miles, shane and I had learned a lot about each other. But there was a party at Cassidy's, and I went, and shane was there. I took some riddlin, this was before I started drinking. But the riddlin ended up making me really sick. So, i vomited, and then Shane's ecstasy started to kick in, and everything was fine after that. I had to drive shane's car to go pick up, and take TJ (not much known about him) home later that night. After that, we went to our prospective homes, for some reason I think we were with each other at each of our houses, and then hung out later that day again, with cassidy, and her boyfriend at the time chris. Shortly after that happened Shane and I decided to get together, and things were good, pretty good, as they normally are in the beginning of a relationship. After about, I want to stay, 3 months, we started to argue, and things just hit the fan from there, we broke up off and on, moved in with cassidy, moved out of cassidy's, got our wn apartment, argued more, subleased our apartment, and moved in with my grandma, things were fine there, and then I cheated. Not physically, but emotionally, there was a boy on myspace, and it got intense, i guess if things like that can, and it created a mess of problems for shane and i, of course, and then we broke up. I think, if I am remembering correctly, that this now puts us in October of 2007, so Shane and I had made it passed a year, But then we broke up, for a while, got together again, I think the longest was about 2 weeks, between there and January. And then, we both stopped talking to each other, for the most part, which is easier said than done, because we work at the same place. I moved back to Indiana in February of 2008, my grandma was really sick in the hospital, and I had some lose ends that I had to tie up. So I went, and things were okay there, I didn't talk to shane for about 2 months, even thought i thought about the boy like crazy. We started talking again in May, maybe end of April, and that is that. NOT. I moved back to CA the last week in may, thank god i was able to get my old job back. But I moved back, and Shane and I got together a few days after that, but something was still nagging at me, I told him I wasn't ready for a serious relationship again, Shane was my first LT real boyfriend. So, that was that. And to be 100% honest, I was really happy for the few weeks Shane and I were apart this last time. I hung out with Christian ( an old friend who no longer talks to me) every night after work, I was working 3-11 5 days a week at the time, so we mingled with the people that were out that late. Davis is a college town, so the busiest nights are thursday-sunday. But we walked, looked at boys, I almost met a few, I say almost because there was definitely eye contact, and definitely a pause after we passed each other. But i was always too nervous to say anything to them, and still haven't been able to overcome the fear of OMG, what if I am a fool, or worse what if they are straight (i have horrible gaydar). But then, somehow Shane and I ended up back together, and he said "let's get married" because this was before the LGBT community of CA was below chickens, and we are caught up to today, Shane and I are married. BUT i always feel like I am missing something, not that i want to go out and sleep around, but i feel like maybe it wasnt right? does this make sense?

Untitled

I haven't updated in a while. So I'll just start with what is happeneing in my life. I went to Las Vegas about 3 weeks ago, and had the time of my life (even though I am not 21). I don't gamble much, as there is an 18+ casino driving distance from me, it was just amazing to see everything. And, it'll definitely have a different light on it when we go back for Cassandra's birthday in a few years.

There is a new position opening at work, Group Reservations, with a few other responsibilities. We had to write "letters of intent", i don't know what else to call it, about why we think we would be good for the position and blah blah. Mine was fine, nothing to hot home about, but we will have to see, as I have my interview with my manager, and will find out by Friday.

I just had a really good conversation with a coworker. She moved here from England about 3 months ago, and is on her way home, as of next week. I feel so bad listening to her talk about how much hurt she has and everything that they are going through. I understand completely, as I have moved across country more time than someone should have to. I know what she is going through and I just wish that I could help her out.

Who knows how things are going to be going for everyone though, right? With the way the world is going now, who knows where anyone will be in the next 5 years.