I don't know what to do

It hurts when you are 100% honest with someone and they still don't believe you. I might not be thinking this al the way through, or maybe I just look at relationships differently, assuming it is the latter of the two or a mixture of both, but it sucks. 

I have a twitter, he doesn't like it, because the people i follow and vice-versa are guys, and guys that i would A) never think about doing anything with, and B) the majority of them live out of state, and C) am in love and married so there is nothing to be worried about.

Today has been the day from HELL, all that has happened, is argue argue argue, look at dogs, argue argue argue, and then pack the car, argue argue argue, GOD!

I don't regret anything from this day though, everything that i said and everything that i have done have ment something and that is what I am doing, starting to mean something starting to stick up for myself when i see fit how i see fit. A lot of people are like, wow that is kinda rude, well I'm sorry but I have spent too much of my life being walked on and not sticking up for myself.

Nothing is being changed on my twitter, and that is that, I am not talking to any other guys and I am not doing anything bad, my life is 100% public, and a lot of people should know that by now. 

new subject

We found a dog, it is a chihuahua terrier mix, and I like her, there is just something about her that I can't put my finger on. We're getting her, I let Shane, I told him that he could pick the dog, so he picked it. 

I need a new pair of pants. I have like 3 pair, a pair from AE, levis, a black pair...and I think that is it, all of my other jeans are too small, too old, or just time to retire them. There is a Rocky marathon on TV now, kinda dumb. I watched this movie called Garden Party if you havent heard of it, you should check it out. I hadn't heard of it until a twitter/youtube friend had been talking about it, and I decided to check it out, it is really good. It's a few stories rolled into one, but just watch it.

refering to an older post, i think.

I said that I had let go of a lot of regrets, I lied I'm sorry. I thought I did, but unfortunately i didn't. So they are going to be posted, out in the open for everyone to see, with explanations,

1. I wish I had been honest with my father.

-i wish i had been honest with him, honest about being gay, honest about the billy situation, honest about not wanting to live there, honest about it all. I never used to understand it but, Honesty really is the best policy.

2. I wis I would have spent more time.

-This is one of the regrets that everyone has, but I wish I could have spent more time with him before he passed. I was too selfish and didn't tale him to the ocean like he wanted, didn't really do anything after I moved out, hell after I got a job. It isn't like i was working a lot at that job, I just stopped, which is not fair. I feel like i never got to say goodbye to him the way i should have, and I feel like I never really mourned on it. I know that is what he would have wanted, just to continue, not like nothing happened, but I guess i don'

t know how to explain it, but if you have been in a similar situation, I'm sure you understand.

3. Did better in High School

-I slaked and was lazy, and took advantage of everyone that I could. And to you, I apologize. It wasn't right, and it sure in hell wasn't fair. I know that I can't go back and do it over, I just needed to get it out.

I guess I should need to stop because this isn't going to do anything but make me feel bad about myself, and that isn't what I need right now.

I feel like this blog is turning into a festering abyss of sorrow-hunting and complaining. 

done

maybe the last