It's a good day. I'm kinda tired, I haven't been able to sleep a whole night in a few weeks. I'm not really thinking about much when i wake up, but it is approximately 4:20, and I don't fall back asleep for about an hour. It's exhausting, but I gotta live with it because if I take anything I wont wake up for work.
Things with Shane and I are on the rocks, and not the good way either. I feel like i might be asking too much, but I also know that it is time for me to start taking care of myself. I know that we are married and we know have each other to take care of, but I also feel like i am doing more of the taking care of then he is. I don't really know how to explain it besides saying I feel like I am raising a kid.
We were raised on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, which makes it a little bit more manageable. I started taking care of myself at a younger age, started paying bills at a younger age. And he is opposite; granted he had a job and such, but he only had his gas to pay for. I am not trying to say I am better, just that I feel like I am a little bit more responsible. I guess; a little bit more grown up and mature. And just for clarification, I am not saying I am, what I AM saying is that is how i feel. I feel like this is, not necessarily one sided, but a one and a half sided relationship.
I had a talk with my grandma a few days ago, and she really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I know that I need to get in school, and I couldn't tell you anymore why I am procrastinating. So, I am not anymore. Going next fall, gotta save and get that financial aid.
1.13.2009
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WOW! Ok, so you can say I was bored.I was just curious to see this blogging stuff.Didnt expect to see a bunch of CRAP written about my brother! Has Shane seen all this?? First of all " you raising a kid, and being MORE mature"??? Well Shane did have more bills then just gas! He also had car insurance and other expenses and was working and going to school! So he did have bills! Second of all how is being "more" mature with a decision to just up and leave asap to move to Sacramento because you feel like you live "in a bubble"?? Sometimes you just have to learn to deal with things until the financially you can move, like the rest of us! Shane works his ass off , I have to give him alot of credit for that! Im not saying he's perfct because I have spats with him just like an older sister looking out for her baby brother would.But its not all Shane. It takes two. I love you Chris but to see all this you wrote about Shane, actually hurts! Marriage takes ALOT of communication and also takes two people to make it work, so my suggestion to you is to communicate with Shane and quit writing all this CRAP about him for everyone to read!
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