Statting The Obvious, and a few other things to note.

I emailed Shane, and told him the majority of what I need to say. And, I think he knows I still might have more, I am just not sure how to express it. I love him, but I can't really describe how strong the love is...I don't know if this is me, or if it just a cycle that I go through. Because, I know the majority of the time I am always second guessing myself. People say to follow your gut, do the things that is instinct. But, what the majority of people don't understand is for me, running is an instinct. And, not running like exercise, like running from everything that I consider a problem (not saying i consider my marriage a problem). We talked a little bit last night, I feel like our marriage is failing, and part of me wants to end it, and not because I want to sleep around, that is the least of my worries, but because I know that I need to figure my shit out. I need to learn things, I need to learn things about myself. I need to grow up without feeling like I am raising someone else. And that might seem selfish, but I've been selfless for too long, and I need to start looking out for myself, whether that be married, or not, it's time i find out who I am. I guess this all started when i found this article. And, maybe that is what got me thinking, but I still feel like I am in a rut, and I still feel like we are in a rut. Hopefully Shane talks with our roommate today, who almost cried when we said we weren't going to be living in Davis anymore. It is pretty much an old town, with nothing to do, unless your going to UC Davis. This town is a bubble, and once your in it, it's get rich or die trying. I guess the majority of the state is like that.

I guess that is it. I want to go dancing, can't till next week, lame.