a house, a job, and god knows what else

well Shane, Cassandra and I found a place, it is super cute and it is decently priced, we just have to find, like the title says, another job. I am clean now, so hopefully wal mart will follow through; it is an overnight stock position, which should pay better than the shit hole that I am in right now. 

The list of things that I want to do is getting bigger, and I am just standing still. I told Shane that i was going to go to school this semester, he looked at me and said something along the lines of how we have no money and he doesn't know I am going to pull it off. Cassandra was sitting there, I don't think she was expecting me to want to say anything, because before I could open my mouth, she was saying something like, well it's good that your doing something because you need to do something for yourself. I could tell the phrase hurt shane, but for some reason all I could really do was just say, if i don't start now then i am not going to start at all. So hopefully soon, like this week or next (if we aren't moving) Cassandra and I are going to go and take our assessment tests for school, because I am also going to be going full time throughout summer and the rest of next year. For what? I have no clue yet, but it is time that i find something, or at least get my ass going. 

I talked to Steven tonight, it was nice, I miss him, and I really regret not getting to see him before he went back to oregon. I applied at gap, man my blogs are never consistent, and i need to go and talk to the hiring manager there, i just have been procrastinating.

I am going to start learning coding, I've wanted to for a while, so we'll see how it turns out

later

I'm going public

With this blog.

Well, well, well...proposition 8, it passed, which in my opinion is the biggest load of bull shit ever. HELLO, has anyone heard of Martin Luther King Jr.? Did he not do anything for african americans and minorities? Why is it okay to be discriminated against when the homosexual community, thats where i get stuck i never know which is politically correct, just pretty much minds itself, we don't touch your children; and believe me, I have heard some ridiculous excuses from people who voted yes on 8, we aren't going to change your marriage, we're not going to take over the world yet just kidding,  we aren't going to come to your non-supporting church to attempt to change your religion, and same-sex marriage would definitely not be taught in schools; which is one of the main arguments in favor of proposition 8. It just seems very ridiculous that in this day and age, and in one of the most diverse states in the country, the thought of a same sex couple really disgusts offends that many people, as i just stated, we (and by we i speak for shane and I) aren't hurting anyone by loving one another, as is the same for the majority of other same-sex couples. It got bad, the fight against this proposition did. There was one night that Shane and I were at KFC because I had been wanting some fried chicken, and a christian, I am assuming, who I saw had a yes n 8 sticker on their car, and also had a young child with them, this is the part that really frustrates me about the whole situation. They started to pray, whatever to each his own, and then Shane looks at me, and is like, "I wanna go and tell them that their daughter is going to be a lesbian".I let it go, I didn't want to argue, but really, by doing anything like that it isn't going to help any situation and make the gay community look bad, end definitely not make them even consider changing their vote. Whatever, it was a while ago, I just had to get it off of my chest. Oh, and when we first got to KFC there was this car full of kids, ghetto, and they were totally glaring at us the whole time, while I had to wait forever for them to get out of their car, and I waited, and waited, and waited,  and they finally left, and as i was leaving they yelled out the window, "you guys look like you'd vote no on prop 8." Really, really now, don't waste your breath on an insult if it isn't going to sting. But enough about this.

I am going to start school this semester, I have to, it isn't fair to me anymore and it is something that needs to be done. Regardless of what Shane says, I am starting and I can't put it to the back burner anymore, it isn't fair to me, which I've come to realize happens more often than not.

Maybe something good will come out of me posting this link. Like a job, yeah right, I don't have the writing skills for that one.

what to do what to do

I am stuck at a crossroads. Sitting here waiting and not sure what to do, and what is even harder, is that I've lost the urge to find a different job. It is just so depressing when you apply everywhere, and then you never get anything back. I've been watching a lot of you tube, specifically the 5awesomegays channel, and it has kinda got me ready to not be such a pussy, to not be so shy. To be able to make something of myself regardless of what is going on in my personal life. I am really lonely, and it seems like it is getting worse day by day, i know i have people, and i know that Shane and i are doing fine, it is just really hard because I feel like I have no one to talk to, which again i know i do and i know that i am supposed to talk to Shane, i just a) haven't had much to say or b) he gets tired of hearing me complain so i feel like he isn't there for me 100%, and I am going to sidetrack for a second, I am considering getting a t-mobile G1, because it is a pretty nice phone, but i was just reading this article and here is part of the intro on the person that wrote it "Having bought more than 15 cellphones over the last 2 years, some might consider her (the reviewer) a cellphone addict, but others, like us, believe that she can compare the value of a cellphone to the user much better than most of us and her opinion on a new cell phone certainly carries weight" WTF!!! since Early November of 2006 I have had 4 blackberry pearls, a juke, an enV, a palm centro, a glyde, a voyager, an iphone, 2 rizrs, 3 sidekick 3's, a sidekick lx, a sony ericsson TM506, a nokia 5310, a blackberry curve, a lg rumor, and there are probably more, and i have spent well over $3000 on phones, but i cant even get a job at a fucking cell phone company, WTF! i guess this even ties together because, i am too shy and have a really hard time in interviews regardless of the job. I don't know what to do with school, i know that i need to go, but with proposition 8 passing, which don't even get me started on that, Shane wants to move, because there is a possibility our marriage is going to be null and void, but sorry, I am not moving again, not until i have my 60 credits. 

now that i am done venting at the moment, maybe more later.